Humour : Technical Support Calls

Humour : Technical Support Calls

Customer: Hi, this is Celine. I can't get my diskette out.
Tech support: Have you tried pushing the Button?
Customer: Yes, sure, it's really stuck.
Tech support: That doesn't sound good; I'll make a note.
Customer: No, wait a minute... I hadn't inserted it yet... it's still on my desk... sorry.... 

Tech support: What kind of computer do you have?
Female customer: A white one...

Tech support: Click on the 'my computer' icon on to the left of the screen.
Customer:  Your left or my left?

Tech support: Good day. How may I help you?
Male customer: Hello... I can't print.
Tech support: Would you click on "start" for me and...
Customer: Listen pal; don't start getting technical on me! I'm not Bill Gates.

Customer: Hi, good afternoon, this is Martha, I can't print. Every time I try, it says 'Can't find printer'. I've even lifted the printer and placed it in front of the monitor, but the computer still says he can't find it... 

Customer: I have problems printing in red...
Tech support: Do you have a color printer?
Customer: Aaaah....................thank you.

Tech support: What's on your monitor now, ma'am?
Customer: A teddy bear my boyfriend bought for me at the 7-11.

Customer:  My keyboard is not working anymore.
Tech support: Are you sure it's plugged into the computer?
Customer:  No. I can't get behind the computer.
Tech support: Pick up your keyboard and walk 10 paces back
Customer:  OK
Tech support: Did the keyboard come with you?
Customer: Yes
Tech support:  That means the keyboard is not plugged in. Is there another keyboard?
Customer: Yes, there's another one here. Ah...that one does work... 

Tech support: Your password is the small letter "a" as in apple, a capital letter V as in Victor, the number 7.
Customer: Is that 7 in capital letters?

Customer: I can't get on the Internet.
Tech support: Are you sure you used the right password?
Customer: Yes, I'm sure. I saw my colleague do it.
Tech support: Can you tell me what the password was?
Customer: Five stars.

Tech support: What anti-virus program do you use?
Customer: Netscape.
Tech support: That's not an anti-virus program.
Customer: Oh, sorry...Internet Explorer.

Customer:  I have a huge problem. A friend has placed a screen saver on my computer, but every time I move the mouse, it disappears.

Tech support: How may I help you?
Customer: I'm writing my first e-mail.
Tech support: OK, and what seems to be the problem?
Customer: Well, I have the letter 'a' in the address, but how do I get the circle around it?

A woman customer called the Canon help desk with a problem with her printer.
Tech support: Are you running it under windows?
Customer: "No, my desk is next to the door, but that is a good point. The man sitting in the cubicle next to me is under a window, and his printer is working fine."

And last but not least...
Tech support: "Okay Bob, let's press the control and escape keys at the same time. That brings up a task list in the middle of the screen. Now type the letter "P" to bring up the Program Manager"
Customer: I don't have a P.
Tech support: On your keyboard, Bob.
Customer: What do you mean?
Tech support: "P".....on your keyboard, Bob.
Customer:  I'M NOT GOING TO DO THAT!

Make a Personal Diary(Log) with Notepad

How to Make a Personal Diary(Log) with Notepad ?
1. You can use this trick to create a personal log with Notepad which will automatically include the current date and time before your note.
2. To do so, open Notepad and type .LOG in capital letters and press Enter.
3. Save the file. Now, every time you open this file, notepad will automatically insert the current time and date before the note.
4. Just enter your note and save the file each time after making an entry.

Access On-Screen Key-Board

How to Access On-Screen Key-Board ?
1. Click Start and then RUN.
2. Type OSK into the RUN box and then click on OK.

Folder Lock without any Software

How to create Folder Lock Without any Software ?

Open Notepad and copy the below code, enter your password where its written as "type your password here" and save as locker.bat. Click on locker.bat and type your password. At the first time it will create a folder named locker automatically for you.
After creation of Locker folder again click on the locker.bat,it will ask type Y/N,type Y and press enter, then Locker folder will be disappeared. Again to get it click on locker.bat and give your password u will get the folder again.

****************************************

cls
@ECHO OFF
title Folder Locker
if EXIST "Control Panel.{21EC2020-3AEA-1069-A2DD-08002B30309D}" goto UNLOCK
if NOT EXIST Locker goto MDLOCKER
:CONFIRM
echo Are you sure u want to Lock the folder(Y/N)
set/p "cho=>"
if %cho%==Y goto LOCK
if %cho%==y goto LOCK
if %cho%==n goto END
if %cho%==N goto END
echo Invalid choice.
goto CONFIRM
:LOCK
ren Locker "Control Panel.{21EC2020-3AEA-1069-A2DD-08002B30309D}"
attrib +h +s "Control Panel.{21EC2020-3AEA-1069-A2DD-08002B30309D}"
echo Folder locked
goto End
:UNLOCK
echo Enter password to Unlock folder
set/p "pass=>"
if NOT %pass%==type your password here goto FAIL
attrib -h -s "Control Panel.{21EC2020-3AEA-1069-A2DD-08002B30309D}"
ren "Control Panel.{21EC2020-3AEA-1069-A2DD-08002B30309D}" Locker
echo Folder Unlocked successfully
goto End
:FAIL
echo Invalid password
goto end
:MDLOCKER
md Locker
echo Locker created successfully
goto End
:End

Create Nameless Files or Folders

How to Create Nameless Files and Folders ?

Here is a trick to make your folders virtually nameless..

Click on any file or folder you want to make nameless. Then press F2 or Right Click -> Rename. Now let the text in the Name field of the folder be selected and Press ALT + 255. (The 255 must be keyed in from the NUMPAD)

The folder has become nameless now. Well the trick is ALT+255 is the ascii value of the a character which appears to be invisible in windows

****************************************

Now if you want to creat multiple nameless files and folders in the same directory that may cause a problem. But you can create another nameless file or folder in the same directory. You will have to rename the file with 2 spaces. Just follow the steps given below to successfully create another nameless file or folder.

Step 1 : Select any file or folder whom you want to assign no name.

Step 2 : Now right click on it and choose rename option.

Step 3 : Now the main part, press and hold the alt key and while holding the Alt key type numbers 255from the numpad. Now without doing anything else,leave and again hold alt key and press 255.

Step 4 : Press enter and you will have second nameless file in the same directory.

Step 5 : Repeat step 3 and 4 to create as many nameless files or folders as you want in the same directory.

Note : you can replace 255 with 0160 and do the above trick.

Funny Portal

Funny Portal
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Work Smarter !!!

a student punished to throw paper airplanes, he smartly works out his punishment to wirte a sentence 500 times.

Work Smarter !!!
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